English editing thingy~ (Saturday, August 15, 2009 / 12:04 AM)
Well, this is kinda stupid. I wrote so loooong. haix.well, those who read, it, tell me how is it please(:
Thanks(:
oh, and yah, this is edited, with a lot! i will try to type the origianl in, but its hard.The original is like almost half of this..but the priginal is good too!:D
FEAR
The dark sky glittered with millions of stars tinkling brightly. The moon hung in the sky like a pale, white face. The serene atmosphere gave a peaceful touch to my heart. As the gentle wind fell on my bed through the open window, I read my favourite book under the soft dim light. I simply could not sleep. The excitement burning inside of me could not be suppressed further – I am going Malaysia the next day! The whole house seemed to be sleeping. Tossing and turning, I tried to sleep, but failed. The wind continued to blow, caressing me in its gentle touch, and slowly, but surely, I fell into a deep sleep…
“CLANG!”I was awakened unceremoniously by that sound. The sound came again. “CLANG, BANG, BANG!” The sound was coming from the kitchen. An irrational fear came over me. I don’t like the kitchen. Ever since I scalded myself when I was little. Itchy fingers. Especially going into it. In the DARK. I’m terrified by darkness. I always have a nightlight on at night. “CLATTER, CLANG!” The sound (which has actually escalated to a noise) came again. I got off my bed hesitantly and opened my door, by a little. What I saw was-pitch black darkness. The kind of darkness that swallows you up. The kind that is merciless, allowing you to get lost in it and never get back out. I froze. The wind now blew a hard, like the cold arctic wind during winter. I quickly shut the door and ran back to my bed, shivering, not much with cold, but more with fear.
Why isn’t the rest of my family responding to this-CLANG!-noise? , I thought.
Deep sleepers, a voice in my head replied. I groaned. They won’t wake up unless the alarm clock rings. I’m the only light sleeper in the house! The sound came again. I have to do something! What if it was a burglar? An assassin? (Probably not, but I can’t rule it out.) Wait, a burglar wouldn’t make such a ruckus. Who (or what) is it? I have to do something. I stared around my room. And spotted my baseball bat. I picked it up. I strode to the door. My hand stretched out slowly to the cold and merciless doorknob that is the only thing (other than the door) that separates me from the dark abyss outside. Cold sweat broke out from my forehead. The sound continued, though now not as often as before. I swallowed a big gulp of air and wrung open the door with my eyes closed, and charged into the thing I feared most since I watched a horror movie. I held my bat aloft and charged down the corridor. My semi-detached house was easy enough to find your way around. My room is at the end of the corridor, so I charged my way down the corridor and turned right. Having lived here for years, I already memorized all the corners of my house. I don’t need lights, but the horror I have for the abyss of darkness was too great. I skidded to a stop in front of the kitchen door with a well practiced accuracy. I opened my eyes tentatively, and immediately closed it again. The darkness engulfed me. My heart palpitated like never before. The intruder was just inside. The clanging and clattering noised is louder that before, and I can also hear the rustling of plastic bags that was previously drowned by the loud noise of the clanging. Furthermore, I am going to enter the kitchen. The place that I feared most for a large portion of my life. How nice. My hands were sweating non-stop. I plucked up my courage. I can to do this. I made it so far. I must do this! I raised my bat, let out a war-like cry, wrenched open the kitchen door and switched on the kitchen lights, all in one fluid motion and with my eyes shut tight. The sudden bright light was blinding, but the scene that met me was horrifying.
Open bags of chips and rubbish were strewn across the usually spotless kitchen floor, biscuits and crackers were scattered everywhere. Pots and pans were everywhere: under the table, in the basin, in open (and of course, a mess inside) cupboards. Milk and egg yolks were dripping from the ceiling and our leftover spaghetti hung from everywhere. The fridge door was wide open, and nothing was upright anymore. In fact, nothing was what it was like before. Bowls broken, milk cartons torn, and the worst thing is: our sandwiches for tomorrow’s trip was gone. No, wait, there is something worse. Rubbish is in every corner. Banana skins, chicken bones, grains of rice, soggy vegetables, any disgusting thing is found in there. The smell was almost unbearable. And the culprit?
A sneaky little raccoon is sitting on the table feasting on the sandwiches prepared for tomorrow. It took a look at me, and scurried off through the open window. I dropped my bat and took in the magnitude of the mess again, forgetting about my fear of the kitchen and dark (though only for awhile). I yawned. I glanced around the kitchen again. I’m not going to clean this up, at least not now, I’m too worn-out! Momentarily forgetting about my fears, I switched of the kitchen lights and am engulfed in the darkness. Again. I froze, then sighed and took a deep breath. I whipped around, grabbed my bat and dashed into my bedroom, before slamming the door behind me. Phew! I dropped my bat and climbed into bed, yawning.
I sure have a lot of explaining to do the next morning.
~end~
so, how was it? boring? maybe...haha, gtg..post this on EL forum.bye~
Labels: English
